Blog Archives
Wars, Imperialism, and Why We Live in “Human Zoos”: The “Crowded” Feelings of Late Gestation—BPM II—and Their Political and Environmental Expressions: Kaleidoscope of Postmodern Life, Part Six
Imprinted in the Womb for Wars of Expansion, Deforestation, Cities, Imperialism, and Road Rage—Crowded—”Back Off!”: 21st Century and Its Discontents, Part 6
Crowdedness, Packed Together “Like Sardines”
Can’t Move Freely – “Back Off!”…Cast Out of Heaven, Driven Out of Eden
The primary thing fetuses experience in the final stages of gestation is compression, crowdedness. We can no longer move in an uninhibited way. As we get increasingly larger, the womb seems to press in us, as prenates, from all sides, restricting our movements, suppressing our freedom. It “won’t let us do what we want to do.” I discussed this in a previous section and how we manifest it through overpopulation.
This is quite a contrast, ever more stark and blatant as we get closer to actual birth, to the earlier euphoric feelings of all the rest of our lives at that point—that is to say, the previous seven-eight months of our lives since conception. This oppression from an an overwhelming and pervasive Other is shockingly different from the unrestrained movement of the not long ago, with its gravity-free ecstasy, and blissful unity with an Everything which was not at all threatening but just the opposite: supremely helpful, nurturing, and kind in the most perfect way. We remember the previous “golden age” and its easy, “heavenly” existence. This new existence feels like we have been driven out of Eden, cast out of heaven, and now must struggle and earn survival through the “sweat of one’s brow.”
Reactions – Swimming, Dancing, Mosh Pits, Religious Fantasy
I mentioned previously how our activities like gymnastics, flying, and skydiving are reactions to these uncomfortable feelings; they are attempts to run away from this discomfort as we continue to re-experience it as adults. I explored how we re-create and re-stimulate those blissful feelings in us through adult experiences of weightlessness, swimming, dancing, surfing, hot tubbing. I need to add loving sexuality to that—particularly in its re-stimulating blissful memories of re-union with an Other who is all-accepting, all-embracing, and eminently kind. I have explored how we seek resolution of these uncomfortable feelings through mosh pit “rebirthing” and warm water “rebirthing.” I need to add to that the seduction of the experience of being religiously “reborn.” [Footnote 1]
I wish to add now, since it becomes especially relevant to what follows from here on, the specifically environmental and especially political aspects and act outs of these early uncomfortable feelings.
Politically, As Nations – Wars of “Expansion”
Politically, as adults we feel we need to push back “lines” of the enemy, to fight off “oppression” (compression), to go to war. We act this out as nations through wars of “expansion” and through “conquering” of new territories…through imperialism. We are always pushing back lines of encroachment from some “enemy”…creating and then railing against the opposition on these “front lines.”
We re-create the switch we experienced in the womb from easy existence to struggle and discomfort by “spoiling” our peace and going to war. No, it is not smart; but it is what we are driven to do because of these patterns from our earliest experience.
The point of knowing all this…the reason why I am writing this and sharing this information…is because knowledge of these irrational tendencies is the most important and necessary step in discontinuing them. We can only have hope for our children in going beyond these tendencies in us of tens of thousands of years and longer through actually facing and coming to terms with the absurdity of our “normal human” pursuits…like war.
Environmentally – “We Paved Paradise; Put Up a Parking Lot”
We act out these same feelings just as illogically and self-destructively in our behavior in regards to the environment. Remember that, as prenates, the “environment” then was felt to be encroaching and blocking our easy movement. So, with these feelings now deeply ingrained in us as something we call “human nature” we hack back at actual Nature and push it all away to “make room”…excessive room…for ourselves…while conversely we make sure we will continue to re-stimulate these feelings through overpopulation, city life, dense and crowded neighborhoods, and traffic jams. [Footnote 2]
We put ourselves in human zoos and struggle with our neighbors over “boundary lines” and where fences should actually be placed…we gather on freeways with their traffic jams and experience “road rage” at the same time as fighting back against the feelings these situations create through inane environmental undertakings: We remove and destroy all trees to make an empty space, though we add trees after the fact. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit queer?
Environmentally, we destroy forests, we pave over Nature so that we can have huge houses and lawns (the bigger the better…we want more “womb”) and speed around (the faster and more nimbly the better) uninhibitedly in our cars (auto-mobile…free moving self…part of self capable of moving freely)… we cut off others in traffic and feel trapped (encroached upon, constrained or suppressed) by drivers that cut us off and don’t let us “in” (move freely)…thus road rage
Conversely, we take solace in speeding (though we risk tickets) and we take pleasure in watching racing and race car drivers and stunt drivers; also airplane and jet stunts and air shows and fighter pilots and jets.
Next: Our Repetitive Struggles to “Breathe Free”
We will continue looking at the ways we act out our early imprints and how we can actually stop continuing this self-destruction which has now reached an apocalyptic peak. But now let’s turn to another terrifying feeling we carry over in us from that hellish time as prenates, which we act out, politically and environmentally, in disastrous ways. We look now at the horrifying feelings of oxygen starvation—gasping, suffocating, and feeling stifled—and the crazy things we do to “breathe free” again.
Continue with Oxygen Starvation and the Oliver Twist Economies We Are Imprinted in the Womb to Insist Upon…Prenatal Capitalism: 21st Century and Its Discontents, Part 7
Return to Blueprints of Human Nature and Four Earliest Roots of War, Bigotry, and Pollution: 21st Century and Its Discontents, Part 5
Footnotes
1. I differentiate between legitimate attempts at birth pain resolution—primal therapy, holotropic and other breathwork, water and breath “rebirthing”/vivation, and mosh pit “rebirthing”—from false ones like being religiously “reborn” or otherwise experiencing a “second birth” as in some social initiation. In the first instances, there are continual attempts to resolve something that needs such attention and in fact can never be fully resolved. In the second instance, there are actual feelings of rebirth, when one is religiously reborn; it is true. I know. I experienced it as my first experience of rebirth forty-four years ago.
The problem with religious “rebirth” has to do with this idea of trying to recapture ever afterward what is essentially a one-time experience and yet taking steps to insure no further such experiences or transformations will occur. One loses the feeling, feels “sinful” again (see upcoming posts on the BPM II elements of “bad blood” and “dirtiness” or see the overview in the previous post) and because one has barely touched it, let alone resolved the pain, needs “saving” over and over again, futilely. The fact that is not really resolved is proven in that the proponents of religious rebirth need to convert others to the experience in order for them to feel they have achieved it; this would not be necessary if one had. Further, the other components of birth pain seem to be more, not less, prevalent after religious “rebirth.” One feels “sinful,” “dirty,” and that others are “dirty,” “defiled,” “filthy,” “unwashed,” “toxic,” “impure,” and more. Again see upcoming posts for details.
So it is not that religious experiences of being “reborn” are not legitimate and part of a psyche seeking healing and growth. It is that the experience is hung on to, looked back on; one is stuck in it. One says Christ will do it for one (He has died for one’s sins), so one does not have to experience the discomfort of facing these pains and discomforts from the womb oneself. The experience is institutionalized and never experienced again, though one surrounds oneself with true believers affirming the opposite, along with this idea that one does not have to suffer again…Christ has done it for one; or one can confess sins and the priest will take care of it…and so one is distracted from the discomfort that precedes any more growing or being born or transformed any further. As I like to say about such glancing experiences of real truth: Yes, it’s legit. But don’t make a fucking religion out of it.
Worst of all, the institution or social group takes over and restructures one’s self along the lines that will benefit it, not oneself, so one is not reborn into one’s real self but into an inauthentic fabrication benefiting some manipulative social group—Marines, evangelical group, secret society, ethnic group, or simply the normal adult neurosis of one’s culture.
2. As concerns creating the situations that bring up these early discomforts, as in unconsciously being drawn to create traffic jams, notice as I have, when you’re driving, how often folks will have two or more lines to go to, in traffic especially but sometimes in retail establishments as well, and will line up behind each other in one line, foregoing the empty ones. Not everybody does that; but explain the ones creating that line…what is driving them to act like lemmings and feel restrained when they could have it easier? This is not restricted to queues however, as we will see it is a metaphor for human irrationality rooted in these imprints.
Continue with Oxygen Starvation and the Oliver Twist Economies We Are Imprinted in the Womb to Insist Upon…Prenatal Capitalism: 21st Century and Its Discontents, Part 7
Return to Blueprints of Human Nature and Four Earliest Roots of War, Bigotry, and Pollution: 21st Century and Its Discontents, Part 5
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Sympathy for the Bedeviled: En-Raptured Proselytists’ Apocalyptic Death Wish
Apocalyptic Will to Die of the Sad Proselytists – Sympathy for the Bedeviled
So these sad proselytists know deep inside how miserable they are. But they find a way to stave off the realization of that reality and of its horrible roots in their suffering in childhood, through denying their unhappiness. They take up arms against their misery and engage in an endless battle trying desperately to believe (and unfortunately for us, assert) that the opposite is true: That is, that their experience is happy.
Sad Proselytists
This sad insanity they impose on all and everyone. Of the actual pathetic nature of their lives they know intuitively but without letting themselves know it (like so much else of the facts of their reality). [continued after video]
Sympathy for the Bedeviled: The Apocalyptic Death Wish of the En-Raptured Proselytists…in the Will to Die series
– video presentation by SillyMickel Adzema
For the reading of this post, with elaboration, by the author, click on the link to youtube above or to the player below:
Desperate Affirmations
They also know in their muscles that saying the lie out, and loudly, can help in reinforcing their precious untruths.
For these dear fabrications, when heard coming from the outside—even if it is simply one’s own voice that one is hearing echoed back—have greater weight and credibility to them. When experienced existing in the outside world, they can be felt to be more real than when heard just in one’s own private thoughts alone. [Footnote 1]
This is another reason they need to have other people, and the media, echo it: It adds to the reality of these lies…the Big Lie repeated becomes more true…and boosts their defense against, and attacks on, the truth of their reality which asserts itself over and over—”truth will out”—during their life and increasingly more as they get older. This also explains their behavior’s increasing rigidity with time, as they get older.
If YOU accept that I’m better off than you, then I must be!
But simply proclaiming their blessed savedness out loud is not enough to be truly convincing over against the unhappiness that they actually feel every moment. So the big guns are brought out: Not only must they proclaim their happiness; they can PROVE it. This leads to their fantasy of engaging with the rest of the world in convincing all others that they are indeed less happy than they think they are and that that they need and want the “saving” the “enraptured” ones are offering.
The underlying rationale goes like this: If you could convince others in the world that you were happier than they are to the point where those others would all want to give up their lives and have your life instead, well, then that PROVES you are happy, or at least that what you have is the happiest existence possible.
For if your reality wasn’t the better one, no one would choose it over their own…no one would decide to try to be like you rather than to be like themselves. Conversely, other people choosing to try to become like you, to accept your beliefs…to be “saved”…proves that your reality is the superior one (One Way!!). To such lengths do people go to deny their sad, unfortunate lives.
Inner lepers
If one could not see the tragedy of it for a moment, one would have quite a belly laugh, at their sake: Just this vision of inner lepers, convincing themselves that they are divinely gifted healers instead, going out to convince as many healthy people as possible that it is they who have leprosy and that they (the actual inner lepers proclaiming themselves spiritual healers) can cure them (of this disease that they don’t have) by the intimate laying on of hands.
Sympathy for the Bedeviled
You simply have to take a look at the lives described above and imagine those multitudes and the incredible pain, utter lovelessness, utterly miserable and confused minds they carry as adults.
Then think beyond them to the many-fold more of the masses who have similar but lesser versions of lives and experiences as the “enraptured.”
Add to that the incredible power of fear…not only fear; but fear that has, well, demonically, been projected into the biggest expanse existing in the universe—that of the imagination and that of the knowledge of the Unknown, combined.
A Mind That’s Squirming Like a Toad
If you can get a sense of that fear, even a small part, you will realize the utter terror that awakens them, that is there in the middle of the night as they approach consciousness, and which, like a squirming frog, inhabits, nay,
becomes the daytime brain and thoughts of these people, and motivates them to do ANYTHING, anything at all, that might promise a snippet of relief from what is the reality they condemn others to.
You will see that they believe in hell because they in fact live lives that are the closest things in existence to actual hells. This is made that much worse, indeed, multiplied many-fold, by the idea implanted with it, which is that to acknowledge that truth will actually result in the imagined hell becoming reality…and that the only way they can save themselves from that hell is to, somehow, not be aware of their own reality as it is. So they must struggle mightily to not know what they indeed do know.
Now, try that burden on for size. And just be glad that you are not them. They exist within that nightmare reality; they see it portrayed before them. They have not even the respite, like watching a horror movie, of ever walking out of the theater and thinking, “Well, I’m glad that was only a movie.”
But the rest of us must confront their horrible realities as well. Sorry, you are not spared them. And you dare not take comfort in the denials of them as well. For to deny these truths is the same as denying the events of history that have resulted
from these kinds of horrible existences: all the wars, killings, tortures, holocausts, purges, genocides, pogroms.
It is no coincidence that these sorry sorts are attracted to fantasies of denial, such as denying climate change, denying the Holocaust,
denying the atrocities committed by religions or their own governments. In striving to be shiny, happy people they create inner hells and outer monsters. Not only hell do they create, but all the hellacious things on earth are the offspring of these lives. This includes the creation now of the ultimate evil that can be committed while in flesh—the killing of the planet and of all life on it.
Thanatos Walking Your Way
For another, final, take on insane or irrational reactions to the end of time and of all life on this planet, another example of the Will to Die, continue to the next post, “Thanatos Walking: Apocalypse is How an Over-Achieving Species Like Ours Does Its Will to Death.“
Continue with
Thanatos Walking: Apocalypse is How an Over-Achieving Species Like Ours Does Its Will to Death
Go to Post That Precedes This:
En-Raptured Reaction…to Pending Apocalypse:
Death Wish of Zombies and Sad Proselytists
Sympathy for the Bedeviled: The Apocalyptic Death Wish of the En-Raptured Proselytists…in the Will to Die series
– video presentation by SillyMickel Adzema
For the reading, with elaboration, of this post by the author, click on the link to youtube above or to the player below:
The Will To Die, Pt 1: Apocalyptic Zombies & En-Raptured Proselytists – FULL
– video presentation by SillyMickel Adzema
This is a reading, with elaboration, of this and the previous post together. To hear this reading by the author, click on the link to youtube above or to the player below:
Footnote
1. It is significant that in The Lord of the Rings trilogy the power of the Ring, which signifies an all-encompassing untrue belief system that provides comfort, esteem, and well-being—thus an aspect of ego (see my article on the meaning of the Ring, which is posted on my Primal Spirit site)—the power of the Ring is magnified when it is used. This is equivalent to the assertion, saying out loud of one’s untruths, unrealities…the struggle to find external justification and reinforcement for one’s chosen psychotic reality and thus the active enslaving or imprisoning of oneself, in other words, becoming a Gollum.
See also my article on the Primal Spirit site, The Lord of the Rings, Ego, and Addiction.
The Will To Die, Pt 1: Apocalyptic Zombies & En-Raptured Proselytists – FULL
– video presentation by SillyMickel Adzema
This is a reading, with elaboration, of this and the previous post together. To hear this reading by the author, click on the link to youtube above or to the player below:
Continue with
Thanatos Walking: Apocalypse is How an Over-Achieving Species Like Ours Does Its Will to Death
Go to Post That Precedes This:
En-Raptured Reaction…to Pending Apocalypse:
Death Wish of Zombies and Sad Proselytists
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The Apocalyptic Death Wish of the En-Raptured Proselytists: Sympathy for the Bedeviled
Sympathy for the Bedeviled: The Apocalyptic Death Wish of the En-Raptured Proselytists
More at Sympathy for the Bedeviled: En-Raptured Proselytists’ Apocalyptic Death Wish
Go to Post That Precedes This: En-Raptured Reaction…to Pending Apocalypse: Death Wish of Zombies and Sad Proselytists
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