Just Released, March 2020. *Who to Be: Identity, Authenticity, and Crisis* (2020) by Michael Adzema

*Who To Be: Identity, Authenticity, & Crisis* by Michael Adzema has just been released at Amazon

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What does one do in a postmodern, complex, multicultural world in which the options are so numerous and enticing as to paralyze one’s actions? How does one live a good life, a fulfilling life? What actions, commitments, careers, causes, service are most likely to return happiness?

These are questions we all need to address in our youth, yet throughout our lives as well. They come out again specifically during mid-life, and particularly in the mid-life crisis.

One can have access to the entire Universe; but while in Form, one not just *should* but has actually come here to do some aspect or part of that, only. One has one’s dharma, one’s duty arisen out of who one is, and not anyone else’s. This is called one’s *atmadharma*.

It is good, in fact imperative, to open oneself to all kinds of potentials. But if one does not express it, does not bring it out, positively, creatively — and in a fulfilling and socially satisfying way… like a tree does in taking the nutrients it pulls out of the soil to manifest in leaves and blossoms and limbs — one is like a drowned plant, underwater in a swamp … unfulfilled, depressed, unhappy.

At best, one is in an oar-less rowboat, directionless and drifting, in the middle of an infinite sea.This peek into immersion in the Cosmic Soup is instructive. It says something about the spiritual process, the primal process, and the Identity processes of life … especially in the places where they all overlap.

Sample chapters are currently available to read and download at these links:

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* ”The Crisis of Humanity & the New Hero’s & Heroine’s Cycles” … Preface of *Who to Be: Identity, Authenticity, and Crisis* (2020) by Michael Adzema. Free. Downloadable chapter.*

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Our Global Multiculturalism Directs Us to the Roots of Our Beings as Foundation for Answering the Primary Concern of Human Life, “Who to Be?”

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*“Civilization and the Travesty of Morals” … Chapter 9 of *Who to Be: Identity, Authenticity, and Crisis* (2020) by Michael Adzema. Free. Downloadable chapter.*

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Gilgamesh, Enkidu, and the Uncivilized “Civilized” Man

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To order print or digital copies, go to *Who to Be: Identity, Authenticity, and Crisis* at Amazon or to Michael Adzema at Amazon 

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Connect with me on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickeladzema/

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For any of the 13 of Michael Adzema’s works currently in print go to Michael Adzema’s Author’s Page at Amazon

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In the 20th Prasad the Planetmates Reveal What They Really Think of Us … Human “Evolution,” Control, Conformity, Birth: “Your Controlling Obsession Eventually Extended Even to Your Own Children” (updated)

Controlling Your Young: With Each Dubious Evolutionary “Advance,” Humans Enlarged Their Capacity for and Appetite to Control Everything Around Them, Including Their Own Children

The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, the Twentieth Prasad: Obsessive Control — Controlling Your Young

The Great Reveal, 2, Wrong-Gettedness:

The differences between planetmates and humans are revealed. The True Nature of Reality is explained: Humans are seen as sad, often laughable in the exactitude of their opposite- (of the Truth in every way imaginable) headedness, or, “wrong-gettedness.”

Planetmates Release The Twentieth Prasad

Obsessive control also applied to offspring in their dependent state.

Snake is First Consciousness at The Twentieth Prasad.

[Y]our newborns, prematurely born, helpless, and thrown out of Nature’s Divine blueprint for perfect nurturing would die out of pure despair if not for the creation of the alien construct of Ego...the delivery system of this Ego is predominantly...fully growns.

The Twentieth Prasad — Controlling Your Young

Humans are defined by the fact of your prematurity and the consequent long period of dependence on fully growns for survival.

In the light of your continued descent into ever more controlling of all aspects of your surround—as we’ve seen, your ways of having your survival needs met, your lifeways (nomadic to sedentary), the Fauna Empire of planetmates around you, the Flora Empire of planetmates, others of your own species, and even your own selves, your own otherwise authentic beingness – all coming under control over time, and over time increasing control of all these–it is not surprising, however sad, that this obsessive control would be applied to your offspring in their dependent state as well.

Remember, your newborns, prematurely born, helpless, and thrown out of Nature’s divine blueprint for perfect nurturing
would die out of pure despair if not for the creation of the alien construct of Ego. And the delivery system of this Ego is predominantly the fully growns who are attendant upon the needs of the helpless prematures.

Paraphrase/Elaboration of The Twentieth Prasad — by SillyMickel Adzema

Keep in mind that it is the mania to control your lives excessively that separates you from Nature and makes of you a consciousness opposed to the natural. For you set yourselves apart and above Nature to control Her. The core of that drive to dominate and what distinguishes you as humans and separates you from the other planetmates, as we have been saying, is your aberration of premature births—relative to the rest of us planetmates—with its result that newborns are dependent on adult caretakers for, relatively, an exceedingly long time.

It is how we define you, in fact: Humans are the planetmates who experience a brutal birth, far before they are ready, which sets off a crazed overcompensation of mental activity to defend against the pain of it. Additionally, humans are the planetmates who have an excessively long infancy, where their needs are only partially met, which results in extreme controlling behavior applied to every aspect of life and all other beings in their world afterwards, in adult life.

Now, a special example of your increasing controlling-dominating behaviors involves the way you see your children. Controlling and dominating your young is special because, remember, it is because of the characteristics of your infancy and birth that this devolution of yours away from Nature began. Your prematurity and dependency as infants causes the feeling of lack, of insufficiency, that in life pushes you to mistrust and control:

Your earliest learning of this world was that you did not get what you needed when you needed it (as an infant) and that you were left all alone to stew in that misery. So you fear, forever after, that you will not get what you need, again, and that you will die of that. Without really deciding it, driven by fear, you focus nearly all your energy and thought upon making sure those terrorizing feelings of hunger and abandonment will never happen again, in any possible future, by controlling all you possibly can that is happening around you in the present.

Your intent in dominating all aspects of your surround is to wage war against a feared scarcity or shortage of life-sustaining resources, which you once experienced and—rightfully so—felt to be the gravest inequity and deadliest injustice.

But that urge to control—having its roots in your infancies—you turn around and direct back at your own infants, in their turn. For all kinds of reasons arising from that early experience of intense craving and longing—which we will elaborate upon shortly—you further hinder your children’s satisfaction of their early needs from what it would be for them otherwise. Thus you increase their drive to control everything around them when they become adults … in a vicious circle.

So, sure enough, in your “progress of man,” your own infants became the next category of beings to come under your maddened gaze as targets for your controlling. They were convenient candidates for domination, being, as they are, completely dependent upon your fully growns for survival for that long period in infancy; and being that, to a lesser extent, for their entire childhood, they are very little able to fend for themselves without the assistance of adults.

To backtrack, your “evolution” … actually your fall from Nature … amounts to an increasing controlling fetish. We have been detailing how it began—pushed by that overheated brain and feelings of inadequateness of needs met in infancy—with a drive to control your food resources as adults.

Mistrusting Nature to provide for your sustenance—as it had done for you in the past and as it does for all other planetmates—you began expanding the area of your control over food gathering by including planetmate flesh in your diet. You began hunting fauna and killing the animate planetmates for your pleasure and to beat back those dreaded uncertainty feelings.

The next stage of your taking over the details of the ways in which you would sustain yourselves involved your dominating the Flora Empire. You invented horticulture, and through farming you were able to control the lives of plant beings and suit them to your increasingly unnatural tastes and to add to your food resources.

Your descent into ever more controlling of all aspects of your environment next involved corralling planetmates. With husbandry, you took away their freedom and saw them as little different from the plants you grew and consumed. Plucked from their habitats in Nature, Fauna planetmates were, as it were, “grown” in your circumscribed habitats to be used as slave labor and/or to be parted out as food and other objects for your use.

Notice how each of these steps involves an increasing inability to view other life as sentient and deserving of respect or consideration. Under the self-centeredness of Ego consciousness, you were seeing all about you as having their reason for existence as being you.

These developments required a sedentary mode of living, for you could not continue your natural nomadic ways while seeking to grow in place planetmates of either the vegetative or the warm-blooded variety. And this switch to a fixed domicile allowed you to act out, through excessive storage and over-accumulation, your paranoid fears of excruciating want.

Sedentary living also allowed you full sway of your defensive mania of creating substitute projects for the real adventures of life, which, now being sedentary, you could say you owned … for you had a place to put them and they did not have to be carried. So, you could go wild in your frenzies to possess and to build edifices and contraptions, equal in magnitude to your fears, that could serve in staving off that feared future of insufficiency and the dreaded pain of want. You became big on creating implements to expand your powers of control and to aid you in your outer defensiveness against your inner fears. You built structures, furnishings, tools, and devices—while sedentary—in the hopes of avoiding that sense of extreme, life-or-death need while being totally helpless to do anything about it, which you experienced in infancy. You owned, built, controlled, invented, and dominated all about you out of your terror of an imagined helplessness in the face of possible death.

Again, Ego’s demands were to fortify itself against any and all threats to survival—imagined or real. This time, excessive accumulation and manic struggle in the creation and possession of items that might serve as insurance against future discomfort was the manner of your waging war with uncertainty. Though this lifeway satisfied these irrational desires and lusts to have and to control, it was unnatural for you, relative to what you truly wanted and needed; and it required a further diminishment of your experience of life. Specifically, sedentary living took the joy of play and adventure out of your lives and substituted sameness and drudgery—all under the promise of avoiding a lack or insufficiency of resources that was almost entirely imaginary.

So, with increasing accumulation—allowed through sedentary living and control and domination of food sources—your next “advance” of control could manifest: You began to seek power over and to determine the behavior of other humans.

The hunger games gave way to controlling-conforming ones. Status and hierarchy became the symbolic representations of your unease and insecurity—your nagging sense of lacking something you needed. And women were the ultimate targets for domination in these games, for all men could put themselves above at least these, as their reward for conformity to others.

The methods of your control over other humans extended into cruelty, torture, and killing, in order to extract obedience. Again, your conscience allowed this through your continued removal of the idea of aliveness to all in your environs but yourself … but your Ego. In seeing all life around you as unfeeling, as not conscious or not having a soul, you had no tether on your, now thoroughly, insane and twisted proclivities for manipulation, use, and abuse.

All of this led, in time, to your seeing even those aspects of yourselves that were outside of your Ego as being a threat. You were at odds with the natural in you—that is, that which could not come easily under control or domination. Your natural self—your real self—includes everything involving your biology … sex, for example … and the parts of your mind that naturally rebel at your sycophancy and domination in relation to others … your errant or “negative” thoughts and your doubts, for example. You could not as easily deny consciousness or aliveness to parts of yourself in order to make them “deserving” of control, so you did the next best thing and saw them as being not you and as alien. If you had to acknowledge their status as conscious and intentional, you would put yourself above them by thinking of them as subhuman or bestial … and eventually you amplified that to their being evil and demonic entities … thus further increasing your imagined distance from them. So if you were to grant their existence as being real and as in you, you saw them to not be part of you, really; you labeled yourself “possessed” and gave these parts of you a separate identity of devil.

The result is that you deemed aspects of your personhood to be targets for control and domination, too: You sought to control your sexuality, your biological functions, and your thoughts, as aspects of your controlling-conformity. Putting them outside of what you told yourself was you, they also could be put below you, as you had your women. Very similar to women also, you ascribed them a status as parts of the natural world, which you felt had ejected you (at one time) and now, as retribution, would come under your thumb. In seeking to control yourselves this way, you were rewarded also by the fact that the feeling of dominating and bullying your own body compensated for your submissive and humiliating behaviors toward those above you in status who dominated and controlled you.

All told, you sought to align your minds, even, with “transcendent”—but actually unnatural, sterile, and unalive—principles beyond your body, which actually were unconscious alignments with controllers above you. Thus, you sought to control your thoughts, your sexuality, and your bodies—along now with your external behavior—in your excessive sycophancy and burgeoning inauthenticity.

Let us explain that last part in more detail: You had a tendency to conform to the wishes of those who had power over you, especially those who wielded that power through excessive accumulation—those who were “richer” than you. You controlled your external behavior to match what they wanted. But in doing so, you caused a split within you. Part of you did not want to be inauthentic—the part of you that was natural. So there was conflict within you; one part of you put out complaints at what you were doing. It wanted to rebel, and it sent out disturbances in your mind as its way of undermining your efforts at subservience and inauthenticity. Basically, being a suck-up was disagreeable to the real part of you.

So, to continue your conforming behavior and to have any semblance of peace with yourself you needed to find a way to deny that part of you that was real. You needed to repress its complaints. You did this by rationalizing your sycophancy as being a value and your rebellion as an evil. You created what you call “sin.”

You see how the outer dynamic of controlling-conforming was being brought inside you and you were beginning to reflect inside you the hierarchical arrangement outside? Inside yourself, you created your own representation of a controller who demanded conformity and obedience of those below “it”—that is to say, the unacceptable, rebellious, and natural parts of you.

But it did not stop there. For naturally the dictates you would give yourselves on the inside would be personal introjections of the demands of your superiors. What came under scrutiny were the parts of you that were unacceptable or simply not advantageous in your dealings with your higher ups. Importantly, however, these items of your personhood not advantageous to those you depended upon for survival began to include more than simply behaviors they did not like, but indeed, anything natural or biological. It was “inconvenient” to them that you might have needs; in their minds you were not quite alive, after all … you were relegated to the realm of “things” to be used, as was your females and all planetmates. They would enslave you, like you were doing with planetmates, if they could. And they often did. They would provide for you and allow you to have only the bare minimum as was needed for physical survival … also as was done with kept planetmates … and all too often, kept women. Any more was too much a bother, and, after all, would reduce what they had. And their greed was as uncontainable as the fear that fueled it.

So, your real needs were an inconvenience to those above you intent on satisfaction of their needs: You could not be loud, sexual, obtrusive, angry, too noticeable … you could not be too alive. You could not be emotional—becoming sad or tearful, after all, would be a way of saying you had needs, too … and they did not want to be reminded of that. To the contrary, only they would be allowed to feel life, you would be told to “control yourself,” “be a man (woman),” “be brave,” be strong,” “not be such a baby.” To such an extent was emotion beaten out of you that, amazingly, becoming a human adult became equal to the extent to which one could keep one’s face from moving. Having a “stone face” and being unemotional were considered by you, “mature.” Meanwhile laughter, frivolity, expressiveness, happiness, upset, and tears—all strongly evident in facial features—were to become considered childish and infantile. Indeed, those were considered bad things, which when you think of it, they need not necessarily be.

But then, we are talking here about the way you added controlling your young, your children, to your list of domination “accomplishments.” So, being child-like—while we would see that as vivacious, fresh, and creative, in our young and not-so-young, and often, even, envied; or being creative, expressive, and/or emotion-full—while we would see that as indicating deep experience of life and passion—were instead, among you, put down severely. Being deemed childish was made as much to be mortifying for you as was being seen as feminine, for a man, was … and for exactly the same reasons: Child-like and feminine traits were both reminiscent of the Nature in you … the biological and “inconvenient.”

So, these predilections of the higher ups to wish for others to be less alive was for the purpose of making it so you could be more manageable (and usable) to them. Also, they did not want to see in you reminders that you were actually alive and feeling, for they wished to control you even to the extent of wanting you to act in a way as to not remind their consciences of their atrocious behavior. This would be reflected by you in your dealings with your young, when inflicting corporal punishment, as “Don’t you dare cry; I’ll give you something to cry about” … as “This hurts me more than it hurts you” … and simply “Don’t cry.” In essence, the parent as controller insists that the child not be so inconvenient as to do anything that would trigger a conscience or awareness in the adult … a knowledge that one is, as you say, “being a dick.”

This wanting for you to not be “inconvenient” and for you to be more usable and manageable in this very day arises in the effort to make people more machine-like or robot-like. Certainly this was wanted of you in recent times for the purpose of you being usable cogs in the industrial machinery. But in this time, amazingly, you are so estranged and have become so complicit in your abject subservience that you are trying to link yourselves, your minds and your senses, to machines, computers and the like … you fantasize becoming computers, in a sense, even, calling it transhumanism and thinking you would have more power that way … again, more power meaning being even more controlling in your behavior. It is trans-human, yes, but only in the critical and disapproving way we have been describing you as humans. In yearning to be machines, and thus the ultimate in unalive and non-feeling, to such an extent have you forgotten your natural selves and succumbed to sycophancy in the service of your overlords.

Your kin and family relations would also be seen as inconvenient … for what was wanted was that you satisfy the needs of someone else, not yourself … so any distractions from that were not wanted … were not allowed … and to the extent they could be … were stomped down and eliminated in you.

At any rate, transgressions of the overlord’s demands for you to be undemanding and unneedy … unalive … were handled by them with a degree of humiliation and, often, cruelty, equal in size to their fear of “losing control” of you.

Tragedy enough, that was. But worse, the parts of you that were unacceptable to higher ups outside of you thus became unacceptable to you inside of you, too. You sought to align your inner reality with your outer one. Keep in mind that everyone else in Nature seeks to align their outer reality with their inner one. Quite simply, beings in Nature seek to manifest a world that is conducive to the fulfillment of their needs and the expression of their inspirations. You did the opposite: You sought to deny your needs and to stifle any expression of yourself … indeed, you sought to not be inspired and certainly to not appear to be inspired … for that also would be inconvenient to your higher ups.

You evolved certain cultural mechanisms to help you in estrangement from yourself. Chief among these is what you call, “religion.” Through religion you could erect an edifice outside yourself to support your inner struggle to keep from being too real, too inconvenient.

With religion, you could create a transcendent ideal—that is, an ideal separate from your biology or your personhood … something detached from reality, actually. You could strive to achieve a separation of yourself from yourself, in particular the natural parts of you, and rationalize it as being better and superior. On the other side of this, you would diminish, repress, control, and subjugate all the “less transcendent” aspects of yourself. You would do to yourself on the inside what you were allowing to be done to you by higher ups on the outside, as well as what you were doing to those below you in status and, if you were a man, to the women in your life.

But therein you see the illusion and wrong-gettedness of your thinking. For indeed this transcendent ideal—furiously upheld by your religions—was nothing other than the introjected desires and demands of the controllers above you. You were telling yourselves that you were obedient to God and “properly” fearful of God, but it was only your sycophancy and your conformity behavior in regards to the Large Accumulators that you were justifying.

It is understandable, then, how so much of your religious dictates … “commandments,” for example … were thinly veiled expressions of the desires of Large Accumulators. You were told “not to covet your neighbor’s goods,” and in this way the Large Accumulators would have their riches protected and have you feeling guilty about your desires to rebel at this inequality of ownership. We will tell you more about that later.

The upshot of all this was that you sought absolute determination and control over your lives through an insular, defended Ego. You sought control over everything outside of it, whether that was in your environments and whether they were things or people, or whether they were inside of you and they were desires, inspirations, emotions, biological needs, or even just “negative thoughts—which is to say, thoughts that at their root where inconvenient to your higher ups and would work to your disadvantage with them if they were ever discovered. In doing all this, then, you obliterated the last of any possible authentic beingness for you.

And with each fall from grace and over time you enlarged your capacity for and appetite to control.

Keeping these deleterious developments in mind—with all things coming under control over time, and over time there being increasing control of them—it was sadly inevitable that this obsession would reach into that dominion you have over your young ones in their dependent state at the beginnings of their lives.

The repression, control, domination, and denigration that you brought to bear on all of Nature, on those below you in status, on women, you now brought to bear upon the most vulnerable of you … the easiest and most easily manipulated of targets … the weakest and most dependent of the beings so far being put “under management.”

So, however sad, it is not surprising that your obsessive controlling would be applied to your offspring in their dependent state. Keep in mind that your newborns, unlike any others of us—planetmates who have not split from Nature’s perfect ways—require careful nurturing by caregivers. Your newborns cannot cling to their mother’s fur after birth, as your nearest relative’s newborns can. Nor can they search for and acquire nourishment from their mothers’ breasts, as can other planetmates.

Yet your newborns’ requirements are even more excessive, since you are burdened, in infancy as well as throughout your life, with a residue of trauma from birth. You say some of you suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), because of traumatic and inordinately painful and psychologically unmanageable events that happen to some of you in adulthood. How little you realize that your entire species is exactly so traumatized at that very time of your life, birth, when you are least able to integrate a shock to your systems.

Hence you as newborns require even more of comfort and bonding with caregivers and mothers, and even more attention to their needs, and nurturing, than the rest of us; yet you receive less.

Being prematurely thrown out of the womb, your newborns are abjectly helpless. And then they have to confront a processing at birth that one of your fully growns would label torture, if they had to undergo it. Not only are they subjected, while still naked, to a much colder environment than the ninety-nine degrees they are used to in in the womb, they are sometimes hit or slapped. Many of your cultures have this idea of “toughening” the newborn by immersing it immediately after birth in freezing cold water or subjecting it to some other mind-obliteratingly painful experience.

Newborns are almost always confronted with blazing lights and thunderous and assaultive sounds. Remember this is all comparative to what they experienced in the womb. Don’t your eyes smart and burn when coming into a bright sunlight from a dark place? A tiny example, that is, but try keeping that in mind and applying that in trying to understand your neonates’ first experiences of life in the world, after a full nine months of total darkness and relative quiet.

Then, your neonates have fingers and instruments roughly inserted into their mouths, stretching the mouth wide as if to rip off the jaw, to remove mucus. To a neonate who had nothing in the womb even close to that experience, it is felt as an oral assault … as rape.

The cord is cut early leaving them gasping for breath. They are separated ruthlessly from the entire world they had known for nine months and with no substitute connection yet in the world outside … an experience of sterile and cutting aloneness which wounds as deeply as the knife itself. Yet when they scream in horror, your fully growns laugh and smile and applaud themselves on having a healthy baby with “good lungs.” Do you have any idea, or memory, of how you feel when confronted with such insane human behavior—so insensitive, so unseeing of you—as your first experiences with humans and your future caregivers, your parents? Do you really think that you could maintain after that, if you even had it before, the trust that any of your other needs will be cared for by what seems to you to be residents of an insane asylum?

You are taken from your mother—the whole world to you up till that very moment—and immersed into, often cold, water, to “bathe” you. You are prodded with needles and have things stuck up your bum. You are rubbed with harsh cloths or something similar right away, too. Do you think you might at this point be wondering what the hell is wrong with you the way you are? Do you suppose you might be getting a feeling that you are not acceptable in the world of the living unless you are cleaned up and careful of your appearance? Or that there is something different about you … and “inappropriate” … that you must hide or cover up?

You, as newborns, are often, at some point, placed on a cold metal scale and/or other hard surfaces for additional “processing.” Do you suppose that being handled like a thing, right at the beginning, might impress in you the idea that maybe you are of that little worth? And at a time when your natural self is aching, intensely, for bonding, for the feeling of warm and accepting flesh against your ravaged body, and for the comfort of suckling, so as to provide a connection to aliveness in this outside world to compensate for the one brutally taken away, you instead find yourself predominantly in contact with things and an inanimate world. Add to this the fact that your experiences so far with the “living” world has been seeming like a violent assault, and do you suppose you might be having stamped upon your tender psyche an imprint of bonding with things … the material world … a feeling that that is the place, the only place, of support and comfort in life?

Eventually, you might be wrapped tightly in blankets or other cloths, which take away the one advantage you did manage to get in coming out of the womb—your feeling of free movement. Do you suppose you are really thinking that life and humans are at all on your side?

Very often you are then even taken away from your mother. You might be left somewhere, totally alone, tightly wrapped, with unfamiliar and loud noises and bright lights around you at all times, for a time that seems interminable. You moan and complain when you are separated from a loved one as an adult … even more so when you lose that loved one to another. How do you suppose you felt when everything in the world you knew—your mother—was taken from you … who was also your sole source of comfort and nourishment and connection to life and warmth for the entirety of your life, up to that point? Do you have any remembrance of the total abject terror you experienced? Can you at least imagine? 

Usually you numb yourself at this point, as a newborn, wanting to die. You begin, at the start of your life, to try to kill yourself to escape from this world of horror you have fallen into … this apparent hell. They think you are sleeping comfortably. They do not know you are trying to die.

And in subsequent days … days which seem an eternity … as they are interspersed with bright light/darkness; coldness/warmth; being tightly wrapped, then allowed to move; being fed, then starving; and moved roughly around and manipulated, then left totally alone … you come to know the terror that death, and even worse, torture, is at hand at any corner or with any change in life. Do you have an inkling of how that felt or how it might feel? Do you think you would be open to a life of change and adventure after that? Do you suppose you might, as we have been saying, be determined for the rest of your life to never, ever, ever let anything be out of your control again … not anything? And that to the extent you needed to control all and everything about you to ensure that, you would? And would you not feel sure that you would need to ensure everything? For do you really suppose, after all the above, you could expect anything good to happen without actually making it happen? Would you not cling fanatically to a determination that you will always and forevermore do whatever you need to do … collateral damage be damned … fully focused on your desperation to never fall again into that pit of excruciating darkness, pain, and aloneness … and not even noticing those around you that your self-obsessed mania might be hurting or stomping upon.

So, all in all, with despair and misery at hand on a constant basis, in those earliest moments of your time on Earth, you forge a resolve, out of fear, that you will fight back whoever and whatever you need to, forever! … lest you are put “under the knife” once again. And this resolve is the beginnings of your Ego … this resolve to control, to have power over, to conquer, to push all and everyone else to the side … for your survival.

You do that. Or you do die. The pain is too overwhelming or for some reason you cannot muster the resolve, and you just succumb to death, out of your utter despair and misery. And they tally you up as a crib death.

***

So Ego saves your life … but at great cost. For to erect the construct of Ego you need to split off from all that is good, natural, and easy in you, and loving; and instead focus around a drive to live at whatever cost. For at your youngest you are closest to Nature, your real self, and the Divine. Except for harsh experience and the trainings and teachings of those in your societies who in later life reinforce the split, you would, like us, know it, be it … you would be the Divine, you would be one with Nature. Indeed, to the extent that you can refrain from losing that child-likeness of soul and spirit, you will be closer to Divinity throughout your life.

***

But as a newborn even you will contribute to your ejection from that Edenal realm. It is you who will place the angels of death at the gates to Paradise. Forever after, the knowledge of that blessed experience before birth and the Divine Awareness you had of the Larger Reality of Beauty, Bliss, and pure Love, will lie on the other side of the deathly terror, the mind-numbing fright, of your experiences of birth and the time immediately afterward. So you will never look in that direction again. You will block out of your memory, even, that such a thing ever existed, having had imprinted in your flesh though not allowed into your conscious mind that that time is associated with the most excruciating and hellacious events you have ever experienced—your time in birth and as a newborn.

Your newborns would, thus, out of despair even die off if not for splitting off from their misery through your construct of Ego.

And how will you construct such an Ego? The only thing you know of in your world at this point are your attendants—your caregivers and parents, in particular your mother. So what you learn from them is the only thing you even have available from which to build your new and unreal self. So, at the beginning only just from example, they and their behavior are your guides. Indeed, since you are so dependent upon them for life, the first thing you learn is who to be in order to get your needs at least met enough to keep you alive.

This is the beginning of that controlling-conformity behavior that follows you throughout your life: Your resolve is to control; your deepest drive and motivation is to dominate and have power over all the factors that influence your life so that you will live and never experience that terrifying helplessness and fear ever again. But in order to live, to just simply live, to get the basic minimum for survival—of food, warmth, comfort, rest … and all the rest of that—you need to conform. You need to carefully observe and monitor what it is that will result in your receiving something life-supporting and what it is that you do that results in something harsh and painful. Like a pigeon pushing a lever to get a pellet, you learn quickly and well. And you build your entire modus operandi for life out of these early lessons.

Thus, in your early lives, dependent on adult caretakers, it is those fully growns attending you that guide you. They, with all their insanity and their inability to truly take in or really notice much in the world outside of their Egos, must now attend to you. And, being as they are the sole models for the Ego of the child at that time, they also will be the delivery systems for that unusual human construction of Ego. Your adults, in particular the parents, will be the major instruments in creating this strange and abominable thing of consciousness, this Ego.

***

You may have wondered how we could be so forgiving of you after all you humans do to us planetmates. Maybe now, with your seeing how much we see of you and how much we realize the unusual and horrific things you go through, you might begin to understand. For none of us would wish your lot on any of us. We get it; we get exactly why you have become the savage species you are. Indeed, we have a feeling in looking upon you very much the same as the way you view some of the most unfortunate of your own: “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

Continue with The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, The Twenty-First Prasad: Children a Burden … Unfit Parents

Return to The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, The Nineteenth Prasad. Over-Accumulation, Ego, and Attaining Ultimate Unnaturalness … Lucifer Is Us

To Read the Entire Book … on-line, free at this time … Go toThe Great Reveal from The Planetmates

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Inauthenticity Rising and Why Women Came Under Attack: The Controller-Conformer Alliance Won Out Over More Authentic Humans, Say Planetmates in the 18th Prasad

Nature, Misogyny, and How Women Got Blamed for Everything: The More Twisted of You Beat Out More Authentic Humans, Resulting in the Environmental Crisis Today

The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, The Eighteenth Prasad: Inauthenticity Rising

Planetmates Release The Eighteenth Prasad

The Controller/Conformer alliance dominated in the struggle humans created.

Giraffe is First Consciousness at The Eighteenth Prasad.

[T]he twisted behaviors and minds that define your species began the final evolution to...you today and creates this rare, nearly unprecedented possibility of planet death in a relatively instantaneous future.

The Eighteenth Prasad – Inauthenticity Rising

So, Controllers and Conformers had survival advantages over more authentic and less conniving humans. The traits that characterized them, therefore, were to increase in humans as they would pass these traits to their offspring through both example and heredity, and these offspring would be both greater in number and have survival advantages themselves over those more authentic humans. Thus, the twisted behaviors and minds that define your species began the final evolution to the most inauthentic and unwholesome beingness that characterizes you today and creates this rare, nearly unprecedented possibility of planet death in a relatively instantaneous future.

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Paraphrase/Elaboration of The Eighteenth Prasad — by SillyMickel Adzema

One extremely important facet of this Controller-Conformer-Authentic dynamic concerns your females. Remember that at this point of your separation from Divinity through excessive controlling activity and ego-aggrandizement you, having focused on conquering and controlling everything about you in Nature, were beginning to dominate and control each other in the same way. You focused on Small Accumulators, especially the Authentics among them, but a huge part of that group were your females. So your women became targets for all aspects of this controlling mania — domination, denigration of character, diminution of personhood, coercion, attack, corralling, enslavement, abuse, murder, and so on.

Now, why your females would be singled out might not be apparent initially. You would think that they would be as likely to be Controllers as your males. Some, indeed, were Controllers, though not many. For there is something that sets women apart in this entire dynamic, making them less likely to become Controllers, more likely to be Authentic, and to be special targets for attack and controlling by the Controller-Conformers.

What sets women apart is their special connection with Nature and birth. Keep in mind that all of this controlling has its roots in birth trauma and infancy deprivation. Keep in mind also that all of this is about controlling all aspects of the natural world. Quite simply, because your females figured so prominently in both the birth trauma as well as the infancy trauma, they would unconsciously be blamed for it all. In attacking women, both women and men would act out their early pain. They would transfer their intensive efforts to beat back the residues, inside themselves, of their painful pasts, onto the outside and would beat back the symbol of that pain — women.

Humans are the only misogynistic species, because humans are the only species with excessive birth and infancy trauma. Among all of Nature, the female of the species prevails — that is to say, is central, more important, and usually dominates, if there is any inequality of genders. However, in humans, at birth, you experience a struggle with the female body to be born, more so than any other species. You would continue that struggle with, beating back at, and attack upon the female body later in life. After birth and in early infancy, you were left wanting in having your needs sufficiently satisfied. In particular, you craved nursing, feeding, and attentiveness from your mothers. Since you could not help be at least somewhat dissatisfied with what you received — even the best mothers cannot respond perfectly, like Nature and biology can — you would for the rest of your life first think of your females as being the source of your dissatisfaction. Women would be scapegoated for all human ills.

It was not women’s fault, of course, that they would be associated with these traumas. You would call it being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Indeed, if justice and reason ruled emotions, women would have been rewarded and appreciated for their roles in taking on these difficult times and tasks in your life. They, after all, suffered severely during birth, just as you did as a neonate. They, though not perfectly, worked hard to fill your needs after birth. So, they are like the doctor who might get blamed for the disease, the hospital that might be targeted as being the cause of death since so much of it occurs there, the fireman who might get blamed for the fire … heck, there’s always one when he’s around, coincidence? … or the police officer responding to the crime who might get accused of it — because he was there. Simply through association, and quite unfairly, women would be targeted as the source of all your ills. You would associate women with eating an apple that would end the earthly paradise, with a jar which when opened released all evil into the world. Amazingly, but understandably, you would create images of the female vagina as ringed with voracious teeth — a perfect depiction of the pain you felt when you first came through that doorway into the world.

So, women, first and foremost, after Nature itself, would be attacked and corralled in your controlling mania as it began being directed now even at yourselves.

But there was another reason why women would come under attack. Being associated with those times of pain was the driving force behind your targeting women for enslavement and abuse. But also, those very fundamental aspects of being female — giving birth and nurturing infants — are the very connections with Nature that you can never deny. You can and did try to separate yourself from all aspects of Nature, to set yourself apart and above. But in the activities of birth, sex, and infancy, you are most clearly part of Nature — down here on Earth with the rest of us planetmates. You may not acknowledge it, but you cannot but know it.

So, females, in being primary participants in birth and infancy, have a connection with Nature that is harder for them to deny; and it is a connection that your males would be aware of as well. In being connected to Nature, your females would be more likely to be like those Authentics — that is, more interested in emotional, relational, and spiritual, rather than in power and controlling pursuits. Burdened with giving birth and having a greater role in parenting, they would be more likely to be Small Accumulators, too. So, they would be singled out for excessive coercion and demands for conformity by Controllers for those reasons — that is, being more akin to Authentics and more likely a Small Accumulator.

But in the fact that men would know that women have a special connection to Nature, your females would be lumped in with Nature as another thing to control. Indeed, since sex is the major aspect of adult life that men experience as being related to Nature and to be unable to be controlled — at least, not with a lot of difficulty, for the sex act requires loss of control, as does loving in any form — and men would associate sex with women, that would be another reason women would be controlled. For in controlling women, men could, again, work to deny their connection with and dependence on Nature.

Now, these special characteristics of women and the extra coercion that would be brought to bear upon them because of those characteristics would split women along two lines of behavior. These would be sets of behaviors, but also, and for the most part, they would be ways that both women and men would come to see women. One set of behaviors and perceptions of women would be the Conforming ones. In these behaviors and attitudes women would succumb to the coercions and become obedient. They would become as sycophantic as can be. They would adopt the perceptions of themselves as being less than human because of their association with Nature. They would go along with what was being demanded of them and would become docile, subservient, “domesticated” — just like the “animals” that were owned. Indeed they would go along with being viewed as possessions and things and would become self-hating and obsequious to the values of power, control, and masculinity.

The other set of behaviors and perceptions are what might be called Authentic. In this choice, women would not concede personhood. They would not want men or others controlling their freedom, bodies, sexuality, relationships. They might, for the sake of their relations with their children, ape all the mannerisms of conformity and submission when necessary, but they would resent it. They really were still closer to their natural selves and to Nature and could not or would not deny it, regardless the pressures to conform and the punishments for non-conformance. Women would know their power, however secretively. On the other hand, men would perceive this assertion of the natural in women as the gravest offence and affront to all their efforts at controlling and dominating. So men’s view of these women had them being lumped in with all their other distorted views of Nature: by men, women were, like Nature, seen as wild, uncontrollable, bestial, animalistic, uncontrolled. They were associated with those forces in Nature that resisted domination and murder, too, as, like Nature’s planetmates who did so, they were considered vicious and unforgiving — furious and Furies.

Thus, there was a polarity evident in women’s feelings and in the perception of them in society: One matches up with the Conformers and was the pull of obedience, for the women, and the perception of their docility, by others. The other was in resonance with the Authentics — and all the natural and beneficent forces of the Divine — and resulted in women’s desire to be free, noble, and self-determining, like humans in general once were. And this was perceived, especially by men, as rebellion, license, viciousness, and evil (the opposite of live) — which is exactly the opposite of what it was, for the Authentic urge was life-affirming and felicitous, loving as well as free.

This is how your females became the most important and obvious expression of the Controller-Conformer-Authentic dynamic. In it you can see all the elements of persuasion, coercion, obedience, sycophancy, rebellion, jealousy, and humiliation that were at play in all of your, human’s, efforts at extending your controlling insanity into the realms of humans, too, beginning with the most natural of you.

All of these pressures toward conformity and sycophancy in humans could not help but make for the dominance of Controller-Conformer numbers, and thus traits, in your populations. Remember, that conformity and controlling behaviors were aligned not only in their ends but within the person. For every conformer is a wannabe controller. And every conformer would be rewarded for their obedience by getting to be controlling in some other area of their life. In fact, the pressure on women to be conforming was so great because it was the place where conforming men, if nowhere else in society, were given free rein as controllers. Just as in the societal hierarchies that developed out of this Controller-Conformer dynamic it would have those on one level sucking up to those above while being rewarded with sycophantic behavior from those below them, so also conforming behavior for all men would be rewarded with sycophantic behavior by women, who would be everywhere at the bottom of all hierarchies.

Of course, women would seek reward for their conformity, too. People or planetmates lower on the totem pole could always be invented. Women could participate vicariously in their husband’s rewards of obedience from those below him; they could derive it from other women, under certain circumstances; they could wield it in their relations with their children, and often did, which is a whole other issue important enough to be discussed on its own (See The 22^nd Prasad); and if nothing else there were always the planetmates and Nature that would be bent into service to satisfy these unwholly, unnatural “needs” (actually, desires) to be deferred to and to scapegoat others for one’s own circumstances.

If human females chose to accept none of these outlets for their resentment and they insisted on being Authentic and living along the lines of Nature, they suffered. And many of your women did just that.

In being connected to Nature through birth and nurturing, through parenting and family relationships, they would be ever reminded of those values of Nature and of their natural ways. Values of intimacy, love, full experience of life, and felicity would make those of power and domination seem pale by comparison.

So, just like compassionate planetmates who took on lives of service to suffering humanity, a great many of your women did, too. They suffered for being Authentic. Because of this, your females are always and everywhere more likely to suffer from unhappiness, depression, anxiety. Indeed, women actually are more like planetmates, they are more like “animals”; but this is meant in the most salutary way: that your females are closer to Divinity, to natural life, and more likely to take on suffering rather than participate in the power and punishment games.

Still, though slumbering in the hearts of many women and some unusual men — the Authentics — natural and authentic traits would wane as being characteristics of humans. For, of course, those of you who accumulated more and controlled others allied with their conforming, sycophantic underlings would be able to win out in the struggle over resources over those more authentic and less conniving of you. For these traits of unnaturalness do provide a temporary edge in the competition you created for yourselves. You created unreal struggles, and imaginary achievements and defeats, out of your crazed and fearful brains; and the ones who went along most with those unnatural pursuits and forged personalities to fit it could not help but dominate in those contests. Essentially, because of these ruthless traits the more twisted of you would be able to win out more often in the struggle for survival over more authentic humans.

These ways succeeding, controlling and conformity traits would ascend as traits in your population. For, not only would these dominating and subservient traits be passed along to your children through heredity, but also through nurture and example. Your children could not help but be lured from their pulls toward natural ways, which they, by Nature, experience more strongly as they are younger and more recently removed from Divinity. Your offspring with such traits would end up being great in number and your population would increasingly see and produce such inauthentic, more twisted humans.

In this way, your evolution to the depths of depraved Nature that we observe in you today was brought about. This was the final fall in your devolution from wholesome beingness to the twisted and inauthentic state you find yourselves in today — a state so unwholesome as actually to be capable of bringing down all life on this planet, along with your own, in as short a time as just an instant.

Continue with The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, The Nineteenth Prasad: Over-Accumulation, Ego, and Attaining Ultimate Unnaturalness

Return to The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, The Seventeenth Prasad: Nascent Class War … 20,000 BC

To Read the Entire Book … on-line, free at this time … Go toThe Great Reveal from The Planetmates

To purchase any of Michael Adzema’s books, available in print and e-book formats, go to Michael Adzema’s books at Amazon.

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Class War, 20,000 BC: In the 17th Prasad, Planetmates Report Big Accumulators Created Scarcity, Needlessly, and Oppressed Small Accumulators to Convert Them to Being Conforming Underlings

Class War Divided People, Creating Culture War: Three Groups Emerged—Controllers (Big Accumulators), Conforming Underlings (Small Accumulators, Wannabe Controllers), and Authentic Humans (Small Accumulators by Choice, Keepers of the Old Ways)

The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, the Seventeenth Prasad: Nascent Class War … 20,000 BC

Planetmates Release The Seventeenth Prasad

Big Accumulators deprived others of resources to make them able to be manipulated towards the Accumulators’ ends.

Controlling and conforming traits won out, in the struggle for survival, over natural, authentic traits. For Big Accumulators and their conforming allies could combine their power to harness even more excessive resources. Driven by unreal fears of uncertainty and death from deprivation, they went even further to garner power and resources through gobbling up all they could and leaving others in states of severe neglect. Then surrounded by people in severe deprivation, they could call any tune they wished, for those in deprivation would be more amenable to themselves becoming conforming underlings and serving the Big Accumulators ends, thus further increasing their power and excessive accumulation.

Lion is First Consciousness at The 17th Prasad.

"Big Accumulators...saw no end to their desire to drive others into states of deprivation that would make them more amenable to control and to...serving the ends...of their high accumulating overlords."

The Seventeenth Prasad —  Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.

Making matters worse, both conforming behavior and controlling behavior had survival advantages over more natural and authentic behaviors. Not only did Big Accumulators and their conforming underlings have the benefit of access to more of the resources of physical survival, but Big Accumulators, out of that same uncertainty and fear rooted in early birth trauma, would be pushed to deprive others in their sphere of influence of these survival resources.

Big Accumulators could do this because they derived excessive strength and power combining their own power with the power of their conforming underlings.

Big Accumulators would do this because their crazed brains saw no end to their fear of deprivation, got no relief from their blown up fear of uncertainty, hardship, pain, and struggle, and so saw no end to their desire to drive others into states of deprivation that would make them more amenable to control and to also becoming conforming underlings, doing their bidding and serving the ends, not of themselves, but of their high accumulating overlords.

Video Commentary by SillyMickel Adzema

This video is a reading of The Seventeenth Prasad, as received from The Planetmates—what I’m calling “Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.”—with additional explanation, context, and some commentary by SillyMickel Adzema.

The issues highlighted in the commentary concern the way the sedentary lifeway and the possibility of storing and owning more
than one needed led not only to a division among humans into Big Accumulators and Small Accumulators, but also into Controllers, Conformers, and Non-Conformers. The natural alliance between Controllers, i.e., the Big Accumulators, and their conforming sycophantic underlings gave them survival advantages over natural, authentic Non-Conformers. How human’s birth pain and its increased anxiety led to the Controller-Conformer alliance to seek to swallow up or eliminate all Non-Conformers is explained, along with the consequences this has had ever since for societies and the divisions between them and within them.

The Seventeenth Prasad from The Great Reveal by The Planetmates – the audiocast

The link above takes you to the audio-only version of my commentary on The Seventeenth Prasad, exactly as is in the video. Click on the link to go to the the audio site, or you can listen to it here using the audio player below.

http://ecdn0.hark.com/swfs/player_fb.swf?pid=rblvjmffjp
Image of The 17th Prasad “Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.” Of “The Great Reveal” By The Planetmates

Paraphrase/ Elaboration of  The Seventeenth Prasad: Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.” — by SillyMickel Adzema

What followed is that there was pressure on Small Accumulators in a number of ways. Remember, Small Accumulators were what you originally were and describes the state in which your kind were happy. So, Small Accumulators were embodiments of the “old ways” … the natural ways. They were “more conservative” in seeking to choose richness of life experience over possession of things. But their numbers became fewer and the old ways increasingly sank into oblivion for these reasons:

The major way Small Accumulators began to disappear is through their accommodation to the power of the Big Accumulators: They covered up their desire for a more authentic and richer life. Small Accumulators by choice became fewer in number as many sought to be Big Accumulators.

But, Small Accumulators we have always with us. That is true. So, outside of those choosing to be Small Accumulators, in awareness of the broader life experience it makes possible, there were and will be always those who, for reasons of fate, Divine intention, inordinate fearfulness, and/or inability to be or “bad luck” in becoming Big Accumulators would be small accumulating not out of choice. These Small Accumulators — who would if they could be Big Accumulators — would be easily swayed to conform to the wishes of the Big Accumulators.

Why is that so? Why would those wishing to themselves dominate and control end up becoming submissive and allowing themselves to be dominated? It sounds contradictory. But, quite simply, in allying with the Big Accumulators, such wannabes of accumulation could maintain the hope — most often illusory — that they could become the same. Like dog planetmates who at times have gathered around the tables of humans, hoping for scraps, such Small-Accumulators-by-fate would be attracted to Large Accumulators. Indeed, a pseudo-religious quality came to be attached to Large Accumulators, by them. It was thought Big Accumulators — in particular, the “strong man” most in control among them — had a sort of power or energy that they contained to a great degree — far more than ordinary humans — which it was possible to feel when in proximity with them. It was even thought that it could “rub off” on others. So this purported power was, essentially then, a symbolic rationalization of this idea of thinking that one could become a Big Accumulator — sooner or later, one way or the other — through proximity to and alliance with Big Accumulators.

That is why such Small Accumulators would submit to the wishes of Big Accumulators. They would become the best and most loyal allies to the ones who had more. In deferring to them … repressing their own individuality in order to do that … they would maintain their hope of satisfying their own greed at some point. This is what is meant by their becoming conformers.  They would alter their behavior in a way to be pleasing to their overlords, and they held little value in having their outer behavior match their inner experience. They would be liars to themselves and the world, narrowing the purview of their life from the richness of experience that is possible to a focus on physical survival alone. Again, early deprivation created excessive fear of being wanting in life, leading to extreme measures. And these included loss of self. These Conformers would become solid, albeit often sycophantic, allies with the Big Accumulators or Controllers.

So there were, and are still among humans, these three styles of being human: Big Accumulators or Controllers; Small Accumulators by choice, keepers of the Old Ways, who might be called Authentic Humans; and these would-be Big Accumulators, these loyal sycophants to the folks who had more, who might be called Conforming Underlings. Notice that the desires and designs of these three groups are split along a particular line. Controllers and Conformers are allied in their aims, and those aims are directly opposed to those of Authentics. So, though Big Accumulators were far smaller in numbers to Small Accumulators, their alliance with Conforming Underlings gave them power far beyond their small numbers. This Controller-Conformer alliance would, nearly everywhere, come to dominate in the struggle for resources over those Small Accumulators who sought to hang onto more natural and authentic behaviors and lives.

This is how they accomplished that: Naturally this alliance would mean their numbers would be greater. But the power that came with control of great resources allowed them also higher degrees of organization. For humans could be organized along lines not to their choosing, rather in accordance with the designs of those at the top through the power of gifts and rewards from the Big Accumulators. You would these days say that rich folks can pay others to do their bidding and work toward their ends and not the ends that people would choose if not coerced and bribed that way. So coercion through distribution of resources by the few allowed greater organization of activities along the lines beneficial to the elite.

But the Controller—Conformer alliance would be even more successful because they would go further than that. Not only could they organize the activities of large numbers of people to benefit the Controllers in the acquisition of greater amounts and storage of resources, thus increasing their power and ability to do that all the more, in vicious cycles of greed and power. Not only would this in itself allow them to rise in dominance over the more natural, individualistic Small Accumulator — the Authentics. But their raging fears of want and deprivation had no bounds; they expanded their control over other humans way beyond what was involved in simply winning out in the resource contest. Their crazed and fearful brains pushed them to seek god-like, total control.

Backing up, remember that the Big Accumulators (the Controllers) shared something with the Conformers — an excessive fear, again from that early birth trauma, of lack of resources and its ultimate consequence, death. The Authentics risked more, in pursuing the ends of the soul, so they either had less fear, for whatever reason, or their desire for a richer experience of life was greater and caused them to take on the burden of that fear. 

But the Controllers and Conformers — fearing death, deprivation, and uncertainty to an extreme degree — would feel that nothing less than the control of all resources and the conformity of all other humans to their will and ends was required. With excessive fear, or diminished appreciation of life in itself, or both, they felt that the only way to find relief from their overpowering anxiety about existence came in attempts to control everything, to control all variables of existence, especially the ones related to accumulation, and all the humans in any way involved with any of this.

So the Controllers and Conformers would not merely seek to gather and accumulate resources, they would seek also to eliminate any competition for these resources, however slight or inconsequential, however small or disorganized that competition might be, in the form of the natural, authentic, but also individualistic Small Accumulator.

They did this in a number of ways, beginning with gathering and hoarding as much of the available resources as they could.

Hoarding in this way would leave the non-conforming Small Accumulator — the Authentic — with less than enough even to survive. So the Controller-Conformers would create scarcity. They created also starvation and death for the Authentic.

Think back, now, scarcity does not exist in Nature. You can see that if you but look. Imagine any natural setting. The only way that you can view that environment as not prodigious with possibilities for sustenance, shelter, or any of the physical needs is if one has narrowed one’s understanding of what satisfies one’s needs. Looking at any environment from the perspective of seeking one or a few items in particular is the only way most environments can be seen to be at all lacking. But expanding one’s understanding of what can be used to satisfy one’s physical needs to what is usable and possible, one cannot help but see Nature as a cornucopia. In your mythologies you display your lost understanding that Nature is really that way, and that you have simply stopped seeing that.

No. What you have dreamed up instead is this idea of scarcity. But scarcity is not a true perception of Nature, it is one that has been perpetrated by humans themselves — in particular, the Controller-Conformer alliance — for their ends alone. How better to persuade authentic Small Accumulators to become Conformers or at least to bend to Controller’s wills than to make it that they have no recourse of resorting to Nature on their own — whether true or not? And, indeed, the Controller-Conformer alliance, in gathering and hoarding resources well beyond any need, they sought to create that scarcity in reality. They would elicit compliance by eliminating alternatives.

This was in many ways the same as the way humans elicited compliance from other planetmates — “domesticating” them — by corralling them and eliminating their possibilities of sustaining themselves except through the controlling humans. The obvious difference is that humans, in general, would not be corralled … well, not in any obvious way. We will leave out for now the creation of urban centers and the enforced dependence of the population on city and village economics for the satisfaction of needs. But, at least ostensibly, authentic small accumulating humans were not corralled. They, at least initially, had freedom of movement, however self-enslaving they were to their domiciles and in their sedentary lifeways. 

But a virtual domestication of humans by the Controller-Conformer alliance could be brought about by limiting resources available to any but them. By creating scarcity in the environment, in general, they could make all humans in that environment dependent on and looking to them who had stored and had gathered those resources.

But they went even further: The Controller-Conformers would employ other stratagems to persuade the non-conforming to become “domesticated” — just like the planetmates humans had corralled. Causing deprivation was the stick, but persuasion to become Conformers and to enjoy the benefits of “social conformity” was the carrot. The values of

 social conformity would be paraded about for all to see. It became ever more important to display such differences in status through ostentatious dress and possessions.

Fancy dress would say two things: For the Conformer, it would say, “I am better than you.” In this way it would reward the conformer for her or his sycophancy by providing its opposite — an ego inflation — in relation to other people. And to the Authentic or the Small Accumulator of any sort it said, “You can have this if you obey.” That is to say, conform and be rewarded. Further, that not only can you increase your possessions by conformity, but also you can increase your status and have other Small Accumulators be sycophantic to you, too.

So, ostentatious dress and elaborate displays of possession and domicile established hierarchies of importance, with each level garnering for its members the psychological satisfaction of being sucked up to from those below, while the members of each level would be led to feel inferior to, jealous of, and so persuaded to emulate and suck up to, those on the level above. 

Humiliation, jealousy, dominance, submission, power, obedience were all orchestrated in these games of hierarchy. But the bottom line was that Authentics were pressured both by being starved and beaten into submission with the stick of scarcity and by being persuaded into conformity using the carrot of status, possessions, and the reward of psychological tokens in the new game of one-up-manship.

And if neither worked — the stick of scarcity or the carrot of status and conspicuous consumption — then there was harassment, scapegoating, belittlement, ostracism, and ridicule. 

If conformity could not be persuaded it would be demanded and coerced. Controller-Conformer elites would create and sustain sets of rules to suit their ends, to which at least Small Accumulators must be obedient. Creating law in this way, they created outlaws. Defining criminality, they created criminals. For laws and rules would not be to benefit the greater good of all but simply that of the Controllers. So hardly would such rules sit neatly upon the desires of the members of society themselves, in particular, the Authentics. So the establishment of societal codes was a covert way by which the Controllers could mark the Nonconforming Authentics as criminals. And this was helpful to them for, by rationalizing it as “law enforcement,” it enabled them in the use of physical force, capture, enslavement, physical punishment and torture, and even death.

So the third way Small Accumulators had their numbers come under pressure — outside of desertions to the ranks of Conformers and the persuasive forces of scarcity and reward — was through outright attack and brutality. 

In the last analysis, the Controller-Conformer alliance could eliminate any use of resources by anyone with ends of their own and not of the alliance through torture, imprisonment, and death.

So Controllers and Conformers would have extreme advantages over Non-Conformers and they would dominate in the circles of increasing densities of societies. They would reduce the numbers of any opposing them, that is to say, any with traits or qualities that were not controlling or sycophantic, by persuading them, by killing them, or through the fact that Authentics would move away. Authentics would succumb to the wishes of the Controllers or they would be enslaved and killed, thus dying out, or they would run away to live in groups farther and farther away from the reach of the Controller-Conformer populations.

All in all, over time and in these ways, the old ways that were harmonious with Nature gave way to new ways of dominance, power, sycophancy, repression of personhood and emotion, and enslavement … with much smaller groups of Authentics living either silently or away from the population centers.

Continue with The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, The Eighteenth Prasad: Inauthenticity Rising

Return to The Great Reveal from the Planetmates, The Sixteenth Prasad: Greed and Oppression — The Rich Begin Calling the Tune, 25,000 B.C.

To Read the Entire Book … on-line, free at this time … Go toThe Great Reveal from The Planetmates

To purchase any of Michael Adzema’s books, available in print and e-book formats, go to Michael Adzema’s books at Amazon.

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President Obama, A Lot of Evil Done Because Your Generation Didn’t Want to Be “Inappropriate”

Mr. President, your generation wanted to avoid confrontation at all costs in reaction to the Sixties tumult that involved speaking truth to evil, right to its face. Your generation invented the word, “wuss.” Watching you (so sadly), I see why.

My generation didn’t want to be part of the problem but part of the solution and had a moral barometer of “you can do anything you want as long as you don’t hurt anyone.” Your generation’s moral rule of thumb was whether something was “inappropriate” or “appropriate” and so divided the world along arbitrary lines that gave greater weight to whether something was unseemly rather than whether it was true or authentic.

But a lot of evil is being done now because it would have been "inappropriate" or "unseemly" for you to have taken a strong stand on principle. President Obama, Harry Truman and Teddy Roosevelt are rolling over in their graves. (Cf: http://bit.ly/PT-ob http://bit.ly/AM-ob http://bit.ly/AN-ob http://bit.ly/OB-ob http://bit.ly/GB-ob #Obama #nofly #tax #union #nuclear #BP #UN #Libya)
Cost in Lives, Sweat of Obama’s Weakness

The Seventeenth Prasad, of “The Great Reveal” by The Planetmates

“Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.”

Lion Is First Consciousness at The 17th Prasad

Making matters worse, both conforming behavior and controlling behavior had survival advantages over more natural and authentic behaviors. Not only did Big Accumulators and their conforming underlings have the benefit of access to more of the resources of physical survival, but Big Accumulators, out of that same uncertainty and fear rooted in early birth trauma, would be pushed to deprive others in their sphere of influence of these survival resources.

Big Accumulators could do this because they derived excessive strength and power combining their own power with the power of their conforming underlings.

Big Accumulators would do this because their crazed brains saw no end to their fear of deprivation, got no relief from their blown up fear of uncertainty, hardship, pain, and struggle, and so saw no end to their desire to drive others into states of deprivation that would make them more amenable to control and to also becoming conforming underlings, doing their bidding and serving the ends, not of themselves, but of their high accumulating overlords.

(to be continued)

This video is a reading of The Seventeenth Prasad, as received from The Planetmates — what I’m calling “Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.” — with additional explanation, context, and some commentary by SillyMickel Adzema. The issues highlighted in the commentary concern the way the sedentary lifeway and the possibility of storing and owning more than one needed led not only to a division among humans into Big Accumulators and Small Accumulators, but also into Controllers, Conformers, and Non-Conformers. The natural alliance between Controllers, i.e., the Big Accumulators, and their conforming sycophantic underlings gave them survival advantages over natural, authentic Non-Conformers. How human’s birth pain and its increased anxiety led to the Controller-Conformer alliance to seek to swallow up or eliminate all Non-Conformers is explained, along with the consequences this has had ever since for societies and the divisions between them and within them.

Paraphrase/ Elaboration/ Abstract of “The Seventeenth Prasad:
Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.” — by SillyMickel Adzema

Over time, there was increased pressure on Small Accumulators; those who were “more conservative” in seeking to choose richness of life experience over possession of things became fewer for several reasons. One reason was that among Small Accumulators, there were also those who, for reasons of fate, Divine intention, inordinate fearfulness, and/or inability to be or “bad luck” in becoming Big Accumulators, would be easily swayed to conform to the wishes of the Big Accumulators. These Conformers would become solid, albeit often sycophantic, allies with the Big Accumulators or Controllers. And these together would dominate in the struggle for resources over those Small Accumulators who sought to hang onto more natural and authentic behaviors and lives.

The Controller-Conformer alliance not only could organize their activities in ways to reap and store resources in greater amounts than the more natural, individualistic, Small Accumulator by choice, but fear drove them further. The Big Accumulators (the Controllers) shared something with the Conformers — an excessive fear, again from that early birth trauma, of lack of resources and its ultimate consequence, death. Fearing death, deprivation, and uncertainty to an extreme degree they would feel that nothing less than the control of all resources and the conformity of all other humans to their will and ends was the only way to find relief from their overpowering anxiety about existence.

So the Controllers and Conformers would not merely seek to gather and accumulate resources, they would seek also to eliminate any competition for these resources, however slight or inconsequential, however small or disorganized that competition might be, in the form of the natural, authentic, but also individualistic Small Accumulator.

They did this in a number of ways, beginning with gathering and hoarding as much of the available resources as they could and thus leaving the non-conforming Small Accumulator with less than enough even to survive. They would employ other stratagems to persuade the non-conforming to become “domesticated” — just like the animals they had corralled. Causing deprivation was the stick, but persuasion to become Conformers and to enjoy the benefits of “social conformity” was the carrot. And if neither worked, then there was harassment, scapegoating, belittlement, ostracism, ridicule, the creation of rules to suit their ends and therefore the creation of crime and therefore the ability to mark the Nonconforming as criminals, and therefore to be able to rationalize the use of physical force, capture, enslavement, physical punishment and torture, and even death.

So Controllers and Conformers would have extreme advantages over Non-Conformers and they would dominate in the circles of increasing densities of societies, whereas the Non-Conformers would either fall in line and become Conformers, would be enslaved and killed, or would run away to live in groups of their own kind farther and farther away from the reach of the Controller-Conformer populations.

The links below bring you to an mp3 clip — the audio portion only — of the video above, containing the reading of The 16th Prasad with some commentary and context provided by SillyMickel Adzema:

The 17th Prasad \”Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.\” Of \”The Great Reveal\” By The Planetmates

The 17th Prasad “Nascent Culture War, 20,000 B.C.” Of “The Great Reveal” By The Planetmates sound bite SillyMickel’s Calling the Noble in Spirit: Wake Up sound bites

The Sixteenth Prasad, of “The Great Reveal” by The Planetmates: “The Rich Begin Calling the Tune..25,000 B.C.”

The Sixteenth Prasad – “Accumulating Things, Dominating Others”

The other dire consequence of your adoption of sedentary, non-nomadic life ways was the ability to gather more

Starfish Is First Consciousness at The 16th Prasad

“things” – not just food but all kinds of “things” – for you did not have to carry what you owned, like a nomad would. When you ceased wandering and set up more permanent abodes, you enabled the gathering and storage of much more than you could possibly need.

This had effects on your unplanetmate-like greed and your unplanetmate-like desire to control, now – sadly, even this – others of your own species.

Those of you who gathered more or accumulated more, by whatever means, could have more “say” and would have more sway over those who gathered less. Big Accumulators were able to control the actions and behavior of Small Accumulators because of their ability to use their excess accumulation to gift or reward those whose actions fit with their ends.

(to be continued)

This video is a reading of The Sixteenth Prasad, as received from The Planetmates — what I’m calling “Accumulating Things, Dominating Others” — with additional explanation, context, and some commentary by SillyMickel Adzema.

The issues highlighted in the commentary concern the ways that our change of lifeways from nomadic to sedentary led to the ability to accumulate more possessions than one would ever need and how this excessive accumulation led naturally to another cancerous branch on the tree of obsessive, fearful control the branch of controlling, now, even other humans. This control of other humans derived from the ability of those who were Big Accumulators to reward and gift using their excessive store of things — Smaller Accumulators in exchange for their cooperation. Thus this enabled people to buy off other people for the first time in humans history, but it also led to an increasing diminishment of consciousness of the human species over that which humans had previously. This diminishment of consciousness was tragic and has had dire repercussions extending right up to today, as is being made ever clearer by The Planetmates.

Paraphrase/ Elaboration/ Abstract of “The Sixteenth Prasad” — “Accumulating Things, Dominating Others,” by SillyMickel Adzema

Your adoption of a non-nomadic lifestyle had other pernicious consequences. When you became sedentary – staying in one place and growing your food, eventually corralling other planetmates, and so on – you were able, for the first time in your long evolutionary history, to accumulate. You were able to store food, but other kinds of “things” as well. This was because when you were nomadic you, naturally, had to carry everything you wanted to “own”; whereas when you “nested” you not only did not have to carry possessions but you were able to create and build storage areas to protect your accumulations. In this way you gathered and stored more than you could ever possibly need.

But it did not end there, because this development led to another cancerous outgrowth in your increasing addiction to controlling your experiences as opposed to discovering the adventure that divinity would have for your development and furthering on the path back to unity with divinity.

This tragic, life-diminishing spinoff of your ability to gather and accumulate excessive “things” was a desire to control even those of your own species: Your fellow humans became the last targets of your mania for control — added to your desires to control your experiences, the timing of events, your sustenance and food sources…which involved controlling your planetmates of the Flora and Fauna Kingdoms of Consciousness…your lifestyles, i.e., becoming sedentary, and so on.

Your unplanetmate-like desire to control expanded your unplanetmate-like greed, and, sadly, you saw that gathering more enabled you to control the actions of those of you who gathered less. It was not long before some of your kind discerned that by gathering and storing excessively – becoming Big Accumulators – they could have more say and more sway over those who were Small Accumulators.

Small Accumulators were not necessarily less able to gather more. Keep in mind that gathering more required an obsession and preoccupation with that, thus it required an unremitting focus on what is now called greed, manipulation, and power. So the more congenial and less crazed and obsessed of your kind would not wish this, especially as it required the relinquishing of the other pursuits of life not involving accumulation – e.g., the relational, emotional, spiritual, and creative pursuits.

Many — who would choose to accumulate only that which was needed to sustain life and little more, so that time would be available for more fulfilling pursuits — thought the narrowing of focus to simply possessing more a sad diminishment of experience, which it was.

But this choice to use some of one’s time in the pursuit of a fulfilling life, as opposed to just the pursuit of piles of “things,” also left them vulnerable to the Big Accumulators who could tempt and persuade the Small Accumulators to act in concert with them through promises of gifts and rewards, taken from their stores of excessive accumulation.

The stage was set for Big Accumulators, who had accepted a reduced spiritual and personal richness for a richness of “things,” to overpower and silence the voices of those who refused such a diminished richness of experience and narrowing of their personality – a narrowing of personality that left out the grandeur of existence more for them than for any other “thing” of Consciousness – living or “nonliving” – on this planet.

___________________________________

The links below bring you to an mp3 clip — the audio portion only — of the video above, containing the reading of The 16th Prasad with some commentary and context provided by SillyMickel Adzema:

The 16th Prasad, “Accumulating And Dominating” Of “The Great Reveal” By The Planetmates sound bite SillyMickel’s Calling the Noble in Spirit: Wake Up sound bites

The 16th Prasad, \”Accumulating And Dominating\” Of \”The Great Reveal\” By The Planetmates

About My Story

So that’s my story. And I should say, you know, I mean…. sad story.

I’m much older now and it’s not like I’ve forgotten it…Like I said, I’ve been through primal therapy…. I don’t want to forget it.

But, you see, having gone through Primal… experiencing it, along with the other ways I’ve been screwed over… I’ve accepted it; and it doesn’t affect me, or push me, or anything.

I’ve learned to appreciate my Dad; even to love him later in life…and my mother…seeing them as poor souls who had it so bad that…. I’m just glad I didn’t get their lot in life.

Oh sure, as a kid… as a kid I just hated; I was so mad, I hated.

But you see, I didn’t know two things — that I learned in my life — but it took a lot of life experience and Primal and so on….

I had to learn…that cruel people do cruel things not knowing they are being cruel; and not being able to help it…. They’re driven…by cruel things that have been done to them. It’s always: “There but for the Grace of God go I.”

If we’re fortunate enough to be able to change our ways, to not be so cruel, to be kinder, gooder… to help people… that’s why we should! Because not everybody can. Some people are just too crushed inside, more crushed than me.

And the other thing is…”OK, so that was football, y’know… but I had other talent….

And I realized in life that it’s not . . . . Who is really in charge of this life is not my parent. I began to realize that nothing happens, not even a blade of grass moves… in the wind…unless by the will of God. I surely believe that… Because I’ve seen it… in my life. How many times I’ve planned things, I went to have; something else happened that was better for me.

What I’m saying is: There’s your feeling of destiny, and your feeling of how it should work out… and then there’s you know … you may know your talents, but you don’t know your goal. You don’t know what God’s divine plan is for your destiny. In the end, I could just think that maybe I might have got football… and been a jock… and played Pro Football and everything. I might’ve been one of those businessmen they always turn out to be; and become a Republican like they always turn out; and never gone and to school and gotten that passion for knowledge… that passion…for knowledge…to know…incredible things that the great minds have known for millennia… passion for knowledge….

And then to actually find out about the way of feeling my emotional scars, and to go into that and actually do it, and to get the benefit of that … would I have done any of that if I had gone on into football?

And who knows if I had gone into football if I might not have had something happen to me as a Pro where I might have had some kind of weird creepy accident or had my…. people have died on the playing field… I mean God only knows your fate in life and when something, some brick wall is blocking the way, even if it is your greatest desire — and there’s nothing you can do about it — well, you gotta know, that God is protecting you there… from something that you know not what…

I found out, I found that out. I even had a house fire. I thought, “What are you doing, God, trying to kill me?”

I had a house fire that burned down all the books, all the books I had planned, for the rest of my life….

It took me ten years… well, nine full years for sure for me to realize that that was the greatest gift I could receive because it freed me from all those old books — some of which are so important that I will bring them out in some form or other…

But it freed me to have a style — not an academic style, but a style all my own. It freed me to write, to speak, be comical, to act … to be me! In a much freer way than I would have been had I stayed with all those academic books that I was going to write — trapped into academic kind of writing, which very few people would read.

Also, I realize now I got so much coming up; I got so much more material, and it’s so much more… in some ways it’s much better than before. It’s so much better than what I had planned. I wouldn’t have come to it otherwise.

Oh, and this is so much, this is so much….

My life? I realize had to be exactly the way it was and even my father… You know I can forgive my father. It was hard! But you know? It didn’t kill me.

It had it’s blessings that I might have resisted. It helped me to know what’s good, in family, in groups and stuff. It helped me to appreciate love. It helped me to understand love and to be even more sensitive because I knew my Dad had been miserable. So I was totally committed to being sensitive and to being all that I could be. Because I knew what it was like to be well, I guess, smaller… I knew what a small person looked like. Although for he, it was probably all that he could be.

He would be the inspiration for all of his children to be better, to do better, to raise their children better, which they all did. My nieces and nephews are wonderful; they’re beautiful.

Though my siblings and I all carry scars. They, my my brothers and sisters, carry more scars than me because of Primal.

Can you imagine, I’m going into realms I feel so happy about. You think I think about football? Hardly.

My joy, my greatest joy; the things that’s giving me joy now is the thought of helping somebody out; helping people out. I can’t think of anything better.

You see I’ve come from so much suffering, and still survived over and over again. A lot of it I did on my own, like my birth.

And so I’ve born me.

I went into Primal, and other things that I put in, coming out of suffering…

I know so many things; I mean I know things; I know I can help people, through the therapy; and I also know things that I can tell people that will, how you say, “ease their mind”?

I know things that are true; that if only they know, you see, because it took me a long time to get to them… but they are true. And they can relieve the suffering that they’re feeling unnecessarily.

I can’t save everybody; but I know that my greatest joy is doing what I can for the people that God puts in my life, that God brings to me….

So, it’s not a sad story. It’s not a sad story at all. What the story is, is a story of authenticity. As I was talking about in “Message from Michael,” — it’s a story of authenticity. It is — by bucking and defying culture — which is exactly what I had to do.

So, that’s the dilemma of culture, and, I thank Michael Jackson for the message of his life and for all the wonderful things that he’s done. As well, I thank him for his personal contribution to my understanding of me.

As I said at the end of “Message from Michael,” this is no. this person is not lacking, this person’s life was not a failure or tragic. He lived larger than life… He let himself be all that he could be to the umpteenth degree, surpassing everyone and no one surpassing him that could dance like him

And so I say, Is it the length of your life that’s important? Or is it the richness of the LIFE that’s in your life that’s important.

I think Michael Jackson is happy sleeping with the angels. I think he’s finally at peace.

Thank you, Michael.

This is SillyMickel Adzema.

That’s my story.
From My Personal Tale, Pt. 2

For more:

My Personal Tale:
Reflections on Persecution of the Talented, Sensitive, and Unique; and Culture’s Sick and Contradictory Purposes
Part One: Fathers, Sons, and Everyone Inherits a Laundry Room

Be Authentic, Change the World, Risk Death! Fulfill Yourself! Risk Persecution!

Cultures, through their traditional practices, brutally separate us from our source of life, guidance, and inspiration and create a blank slate at birth, which would otherwise have been a map of life, with contact numbers directly to God and technical assistance angels — a kind of Jacob’s Ladder for when the going got rough. Then, culture tells you to be an individual and aspire to greatness and puts up examples of people who have done so and made a difference for their society and the world. And then culture punishes severely any one who is exceptional and shows it and/or strives to do exactly as the cultural teachings were inspiring him or her to do. This is the cultural double-bind, the mind-fuck that makes us all somewhat crazy.

John Lennon nailed it in his song "Working Class Hero" on the "Imagine" album: "As soon as you’re born, they make you feel small, by giving you nothing, instead of it all…till you’re so fucking crazy you can’t follow their rules…then they expect you to pick a career…but you can’t really function you’re so full of fear…." Of course, his chorus then expresses the other side of the this cultural push-pull "A working class hero is something to be…" then sadly he ends the chorus "If you want to be a hero, well just follow me." At the time, the zombie critics didn’t get it that he was being sarcastic and sad when he said that, not egotistical. Nevertheless, he was pointing out that it is damn hard to be something in a culture that targets you then for doing it.

And that brings us to Michael Jackson. Michael is the latest example of what we do to those who give the most to us: Lennon, Jesus, Michael, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi — while half the world is inspired and grateful, it brings up jealousy, spite, and hatred in others. So authentic people, real people, often play a very heavy price, sometimes death, at least persecution.

Despite these huge drawbacks, our deepest desire is to be authentic. It is the reason we were born; it is our only real mission in life; and it is given by God. That desire is to live lives of richness, truth, and love, being all that we can be and expressing that unique thing that all of us has that no one else does, so that God’s purpose will be fulfilled in that the world will receive that which we alone can give it.So many people strive for authenticity, for realness of life, richness of experience…the old-fashioned term would be "fulfillment."

People who are authentic are extremely attractive and draw just as extreme hatred on them. Obama, like Michael Jackson, is another example. JFK was another one. You see the problem. Look at how many were assassinated. Bhenazir Bhutto, in Pakistan, shot in the head as she returned to her native land to help reform it.

Yet courageous people continue to aspire to regain what they had stolen from them at birth: their uniqueness, their greatness, their one true mission in life, indeed, their very soul. In Hindu culture, they call it your Atmadharma — in other words it is the right action to do (dharma) that is in line with your soul-divinity (Atma).

I’ve gathered together a collection of my audio presentations on this subject at Entertonement.com and titled it "Michael Jackson and the Authentic Life."

The clips and the audio presentations in this collection, "Michael Jackson and the Authentic Life," all have something to say about this quest for authenticity. And at this time, when the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, it is only an uprising of authentic people, and people striving to be that, which will keep this planet from becoming another Mars in the very near future. That’s why this is so important.

Below is one of the presentations I’ve uploaded in audio format about culture and authenticity and the mind-fuck. It’s titled: "In Memoriam. Michael Jackson’s 2004 Fiasco – The Attack on Uniqueness, the Scapegoating of Feeling, the Hatred of the Free and Successful by the Sellouts, the Compromised, and the Zombie Corporate Slaves’ with text (and music!) it’s at "In Memoriam: Michael Jackson’s 2004..." at primalspirit.com